The only good thing about real insomnia is the incredibly long period of sleep after staying awake for so long— Especially if you’re lucky enough to get a bit of that lucid dreaming going on. After being forced to be awake from anywhere between 32-48 hours, being able to sleep in for 16 hours, experience approximately four hours of REM Sleep (granted those 4 hours are broken down periodically throughout the 16 hours, because of our brainwaves constantly transition from different forms of sleep in a cycle lasting about 90 minutes resulting in a night with many dreams— several of which usually vivid and memorable dreams that in many ways surpass reality itself). And in a dream with no concept of time, it seems that much longer.
One a side note:
I hate it when people claim to have insomnia just because they tend to stay up somewhat late, but don’t actually understand what life is like to have the inability to sleep regularly.
For me, personally, it’s been difficult to sleep unless I actually reach a point of complete and utter physical exhaustion or unless I take some kind of prescribed sleeping medication. I never get the usual /” Yawn ‘I’m tired I think I’m going to go retire for the night’”/ the kind of thing everyone gets at some point during the night, unless I’m awake for an abnormally long time,
When my insomnia was at it’s worst, I’ve suffered for four days and several painful hours completely awake and unable to sleep no matter how long I laid in bed trying for even a short nap. Eventually I managed to sleep because I became completely and utterly terrified during the third or fourth day. I was becoming hysterical and extremely paranoid, experiencing peripheral hallucinations at an alarming rate (the kind where you’d see a coat hanging on the wall and think it was some stranger watching you until you looked closer), and my body ached so bad that I could hardly walk.
In the end, I was convinced that I was going to die if I was to stay awake another day and that terrifying idea is what allowed me to sleep.
And when your in such a borderline-insane state of mind like that, you forget to eat and you stutter or randomly pause while talking and sometimes slur your words like a drunk. The only thought possessing you is “How much longer must I endure this, endure watching myself fall apart, before I can finally rest like everyone else.”
Although, I must admit those days are behind me for the most part. Through what I can only assume is sheer power of will, I’ve been able to fall asleep and wake up at reasonable times more often than not. I still have trouble sleeping and sometimes I stay awake randomly for a day or two where I just can’t find the means to sleep, but now it’s getting fewer and further between,
I don’t know where my insomnia originated from, all I know is I’ve had it for as long as I can remember, since I was a kid. Maybe I was sick with something and now I’m cured, maybe it was all psychological or stress/depression kinda thing, but whatever it was I’m glad I’m somehow getting over it and I’m glad I can sleep better now than I ever could. I’m grateful to be free from living a nightmare and I’m tired of people claiming to have insomnia without ever truly experiencing how absolutely fucking shitty it really is.
Doubt anyone will even read this, seeing as how I don’t have many followers.
I just really love sleep. -End of rant.-